Things I Want to Remember about being Pregnant with Maggie…
Ok, pregnancy post coming up… skip over or delete please if you’d rather not read!
A lot of friends and family have asked how I’m feeling and doing while pregnant, expecting in mid-February. I wanted to write down some of my thoughts over this time period too. My friend Charlotte who just had her first cutie Clyde wrote me an email about some things she did when she was pregnant, and I liked her ideas… but I just haven’t had much time. (Charlotte, I promise I’ll write you back one day! I miss you guys!)
Here are some random thoughts and feelings I’ve had since the pregnancy test showed two lines in June…
I felt horrible the whole first trimester. I was sick to my stomach from the moment I woke up in the morning to the second I fell asleep at night. No amount of eating, exercise, hydration, or Tums could make it go away. And, worse than that, I felt horrible for feeling horrible. Because I wanted to get pregnant and have a baby for so long, I felt extremely guilty even mentioning my pain because I complained when pregnant friends mentioned their discomfort. “But she’s pregnant,” I would say to JD. “She should be jumping for joy!” And then I felt awful and was once again humbled. The humbling never stops. I can see God exclaiming, “Boom-roasted!!” to me. (But God wouldn’t of course…)
I’ve only been able to pull off the “What do you mean?” joke once. I keep forgetting. Oh, you know the joke: a stranger or acquaintence says unprompted, “Oh congratulations!” Me: “What do you mean?” (You know, the “What baby?” scene from Two Weeks Notice.) Stranger (struggling): “Er, you know, that you’re pregnant.” Me: “What?” It’s a really great joke but I keep forgetting. I think it’ll be more funny when I’m bigger, and hopefully I’ll have a chance to remember in the future.
I truly do not want special treatment. I thought I might, but I don’t. Especially at work, I don’t want the pregnancy to be the main emphasis for me. The other day at Starbucks, a lady ordered the exact same drink as me, and I thought it was mine so I walked forward to grab it, and the barista corrected me. The lady said, “Oh you should’ve gotten yours first!” I said, “Why? You were first! I’m so sorry!” I didn’t realize until later that she meant because I was pregnant. Why would I cut in line because I’m pregnant? I don’t want to demand service just because there’s two of us in this here body.
Added to that … people look at your bump all the time. Coworkers, family members, friends, strangers… eyes dart to belly. I’m relieved that I actually look with-child now, rather than just an overindulgence on Taco Bell.
Conversely, I love the attention. After being wrongfully jealous for so long of all the women who were pregnant, I completely enjoy soaking up the new interest and kind questions.
Actually, I don’t mind that people want to touch my belly. While at a work event where alcohol was served, my belly was rubbed quite a bit, and it was really sweet. People are just excited for you, and for those with the “touch” love language, that’s how they show it!
I appreciate the advice when I’m given it… if I’m open to it. I’m stubborn. I’ve really got to get over myself. People just want to help and love you.
Pregnant ladies can really pull off horizontal stripes. Just sayin’.
I feel fat. It’s totally stupid… of course I’m gaining weight. But I’ve never seen numbers like that on the scale before, and it scares me just a little. It feels like I’m out of control, but I know I’m not going overboard. It’s just weird.
I have experienced a little “Senioritis”-type panic. ”I’ll never get to have dates in coffeeshops with JD again.” “Traveling on a plane will never be the same.” “I must see as many movies in the theater as I possible can.” “I must listen to my music in the car really loud… I won’t be able to do that anymore!”
I feel the increased pressure to accomplish a lot before mid-February. No, my life won’t be ending when Maggie comes, but I worry about my flexibility. Yes, adjustments will come, but I want to do so much! (I hope I can finish everything on my Thirty before 30 list! I’m determined!)
I’m a lot calmer about the future than I would have expected. I still have worries about money, which never seem to go away, but overall, I feel a great deal of peace.